Only For You Page 29
“Do I even want to know?”
“It’s probably best if you don’t.”
I laid back down and snuggled with him a little while longer. Griff could wait.
“How is Sam?” Hunter inquired.
“She is struggling to crawl out of the hole she dug to survive, but she will be okay. She has a difficult journey ahead, the road will be treacherous at times, but her will is strong.”
“We owe Griffin big time, you know. He was the mastermind behind our reunion. I think he has a bit of the romantic in him.”
I would like to dismiss Hunter’s comment as merely a tangent, but I knew he was plotting.
“Love, she is not ready—she may never be ready for him. Her wounds are so deep, when they finally heal the scars that remain may be too thick to penetrate. I love Sam with all my heart and want her to be happy and to find love when she is ready, if she’s ready. But, I love Griffin too, and I’m not sure Sam will ever be able to fully give herself to another person after what she has been through—definitely not anytime soon. Griffin deserves more than a piece of her. He deserves everything.”
Epilogue
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"The phoenix hope, can wing her way through the desert skies, and still defying fortune's spite; revive from ashes and rise.” -Miguel de Cervantes
Finally she was home, safe and sound. The ride from the airport had been treacherous, both navigating the highway and conversation with Sam. I tried to keep it light—updating her on the progress of my flourishing relationship with Hunter since our last visit at the Phoenix Center. Sam ‘ohh’-ed and ‘ahh’-ed in all the right places, laughed at my funny anecdotes, and defended me against his stupid man behavior. She did everything right, but everything felt off. She was Sam-lite, not the same girl before the attack, which was to be expected. Her responses seemed computer generated, less human and more android—it was disconcerting.
The therapists had cautioned me that Sam may initially regress as she acclimated into life at home.
“Any changes in environment and routine can be jarring to those with PTSD. It’s normal, so try not to worry too much. She has gained the tools to survive and thrive—you just have to let her do it on her terms and at her own pace.”
I hoped sessions with Dr. Veritus would help her regain any ground she had lost in her homecoming. I mentioned that Hunter offered to bring us dinner when we arrived home, unsure of Sam’s reaction.
“I would love to see Hunter, please have him come over. I have missed him almost as much as I missed you. Plus, I still have to berate him for the whole FBI secret and breaking your heart.”
That was my first glimpse of the real Sam—I almost cried.
I decided to press my luck. “Griffin wanted to come, too. He said he would understand if you needed time to settle in first, but wanted to be a part of the welcome home dinner if you were up for it.”
Sam paused for a long time.
“I think I would rather keep it to just the three of us…so we can catch up. I appreciate Griffin’s support, but I need a few days before I tackle the rest of the world.”
I nodded my understanding; Griffin had suspected as much and told me so. I knew I should not push them together, I was the one who had told Griffin he deserved more than the broken pieces of Sam. I couldn’t help but feel that Griff was the one person with the understanding and perseverance that Sam could trust one day.
“You’re right. I didn’t really want to share you—even with Hunter—but he won’t stay long,” I validated her feelings.
“Ev, I’m sure you and Hunter are screwing like bunnies in the apartment and everywhere else with a modicum of privacy, he doesn’t need to head home tonight and sleep alone for my benefit.”
“Tonight is Sunday, that’s chick time. Hunter only received permission to attend dinner due to the celebratory nature of the event. Plus, he is the one providing the sustenance.”
“It’s your call, but I’m fine with him staying over. I would actually feel safer with him in the apartment.”
That was a relief; Hunter had become a regular fixture during Sam’s absence. He even had his own toothbrush. What concerned me was Sam’s potential reaction to hearing Hunter and I dirty dancing—we were not the quietest of folks. I didn’t want to trigger any unpleasant memories.
As if reading my mind she interjected, “And don’t worry about working on your ground and pound when I’m at home—the girl in the room next to me really embraced the whole male re-emersion therapy concept. She fucked her way to being comfortable in a man’s presence again. I think she had a sign-up sheet on her door. I’m not ready to dance the horizontal mambo yet, but you won’t set me off if you do.”
“Just tell me if anything bothers you and we will re-evaluate.” I could not help my relief at being able to enjoy all of the benefits of Hunter.
“Besides, Shelly strongly encouraged masturbation to help disassociate negative thoughts from the rape with healthy sexual gratification. Having Hunter around and hearing him enjoying himself can serve as inspiration for me.”
I stared at her wide-eyed for as long as possible without crashing the car. “You are not going to use my boyfriend as fodder for your private time.”
“Oh, but I am,” Sam smirked, “and you, my bestest friend in the world, can do nothing to stop me.”
She was teasing me and I was thrilled that she was joking about sexual situations comfortably.
“The visuals you are implanting in my head may ruin my sex life for the foreseeable future,” I was only partially kidding.
“I’m just kidding. Hunter is H.O.T. hot, but I see him in more of a brotherly light. I’ll find another muse for my therapy.”
Thank heavens for that! Maybe I would be able to have sex again.
“Besides, I can’t fantasize about my future brother-in-law. That breaks all kinds of chick rules.”
I almost choked on my sip of coffee. “We aren’t engaged. We’ve only been officially together for two months. There is no ring on the horizon, no white dress to be ordered. Slow your roll, crazy lady.”
“Whatever you say. I will bet you a Benjamin that he puts a ring on it within six months and you’re Mrs. Everleigh Rose Charles this time next year,” Sam predicted with confidence.
“Girlfriend…bite your tongue. I just graduated, I’m taking over a business, and I’m enjoying new boyfriend sex. Don’t rush me.”
“You better enjoy new boyfriend sex because it is soon to be replaced by new fiancé sex quickly followed by new husband sex; mark my words. I may be crazy now, but I’m not clueless.”
“You’re a sly one you manipulative little twerp. Stop messing with my head. Only one of us can be loco at a time.”
Sam laughed, a real Sam laugh for the first time. Again, I almost cried.
She would be okay, she had some huge obstacles to scale, but she would be okay. And I would be here every step of the way to pick her up when she veered off course. She would be great because I would not let her be anything else.
Acknowledgements
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To my Momma, you inspired me with your own book and encouraged me to follow my dream. You listened to me on the phone every day sharing my progress as I struggled through the process of writing a novel. You were my first unofficial beta reader, suffering through my typos and patiently correcting them. Only a mother could offer the love and support you have. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you with all my heart!
You do not want to imagine what this book would have been like without the talents of my editor C.J. Manise. Goose, thank you for embracing this story and caring enough to tell me when changes (or cuts, *gasp*) were necessary to improve the reader experience. You found my grammatical snafus, and ensured I presented the best work possible. I’m sorry for any times I may have argued, bit, spit, punched, or kicked you during the process…oh, I didn’t do any of that except for argue…it must have been in my fantasies at the time. Thanks C.J. Ready for round two?
To the fabulous Miss Amy Bartol—you sacrificed your time responding to a despairing e-mail of an unknown and unpublished author. Your words of empathy, encouragement, and advice were a gift for which you have my utmost gratitude. You rock! For anyone who hasn’t read The Premonition Series (Inescapable, Intuition, Indebted, Incendiary, Iniquity) by Amy Bartol, I strongly encourage you buy them today—just be sure to clear your schedule because you will not be able to put them down, they are addictive. For more information visit www.amybartol.com.
I was inspired by countless authors, who have swept me away with their stories of life, love, and heartbreak. I can’t imagine I would have had the courage to pursue my dream if it weren’t for their bravery. Please allow me to thank you all collectively for your talent and pluck. I am compelled to list several authors who were particularly inspiring and motivating, each for their own reasons. Alphabetically (because it just seemed fair), I offer my most sincere gratitude to: Jennifer L. Armentrout, Kristen Ashley, Shelly Crane, Colleen Hoover, M. Leighton, Jamie McGuire, Raine Miller, Jessica Sorensen, Nicole Williams, and Samantha Young.
A special thank you to Hanshi Michael J. Rosati, Sr. In a weird twisted way, you helped inspire this book. You’re an amazing teacher! Rosati System of Modern Martial Arts www.rosatimma.com
Thank you to Moshe D Katz for your amazingly helpful website www.your-krav-maga-expert.com/self-defense-tips.html, your self-defense tips were a wonderful resource.
About The Author
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Genna Rulon is an up-and-coming contemporary romance author.
During her 15 years in the corporate world, Genna, inspired by her love of reading, fantasized about penning her own stories. Encouraged by her favorite authors, many of whom are indie writers and self-published, she committed to pursue her aspirations of writing her own novels.
Genna was raised on Long Island in New York, where she still resides, surrounded by the most amazing family and friends. Married to a wonderful man who patiently tolerates her ramblings about whichever book she is currently working on, even feigning interest relatively convincingly! Genna is blessed with two little boys who do their best to thwart mommy's writing time with their hilarious antics and charming extrapolations.
You can find Genna online at: www.gennarulon.com
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Other Books by Genna Rulon
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Pieces For You (For You Series #2)
release date: December 17, 2013
"The phoenix hope, can wing her way through the desert skies, and still defying fortune's spite; revive from ashes and rise.” -Miguel de Cervantes
Samantha Whitney survived an unimaginable tragedy only to discover she had been betrayed by the man she loved. With the help of her best friend, she found a safe haven to physically recover and begin the process of healing emotionally.
Sam expected her homecoming to be tumultuous; she thought she was prepared to deal with the ramifications of her assault, but nothing could have prepared her the battle she faced.
As she reestablishes a life that no longer feels familiar, she finds unwavering support in a familiar face. Despite every effort to distance herself, Griffin manages to take two steps forward for every step she retreats.
When unexplainable accidents plague Sam, she is forced to turn to Griffin.