Only For You Page 16

  “You may be right, but does it really matter the reason?”

  “What do you mean Linc? Of course it matters.”

  “Do you really want to be with someone who is telling you they don’t want to be with you and can’t give you forever? You’re a catch, Ev, one in a million. You shouldn’t settle for anything less than everything. The man you choose to devote your life to should be willing to climb over broken glass—naked—to stand by your side. That is what you deserve.”

  “Oh, Lincoln,” I leaned around the corner of the table to hug him as best I could, “you’re a wise man and an amazing friend.”

  “If you don’t remember your value, no one else will. Don’t ever settle, Ev. You’re too beautiful to waste on someone who doesn’t appreciate you.”

  “If you make me cry I’m going to slap you. Stop being so damn sweet,” I joked. “You’re a bit of a poet, you know?”

  “Shut it, Miss Carsen. Don’t you dare spread that filthy rumor around. It would attract the wrong type of women.”

  “What type would that be?”

  “The type you marry.”

  I left Linc after lunch, grateful for his friendship and unexpected wisdom. As I drove home, I reflected on our conversation. I don’t know if my new understanding brought me any peace, but I gained perspective and the resolve to let Hunter go when the time came.

  Glancing in my review mirror, I noticed a shiny black pick-up was following me, or at least it appeared to be. The car was familiar, but I couldn’t recall from where. I knew my imagination was probably running away with me, but to reassure myself I turned onto a side street to take a roundabout route home. Sure enough, the pick-up followed. Thank God it was daytime or I would have been hyperventilating by now. My eyes were glued to the review mirror, only occasionally glancing at the road ahead as I watched the tail. The driver never got close enough for me to identify him, but I was confident it was a man based on his size.

  I was positive I had seen the truck before; the decal on the windshield was distinctive. If it was a Hensley student I may have seen the car in a parking lot, the driver could be a stranger. I was near the entry to the apartment complex and decided to turn in, but not park if the truck followed.

  I made a quick left at the last minute and slammed on my brakes while turning to see who was stalking me. Shit! I did know the driver—it was Drew. He must have purchased a new car since we had dated. Damn it, why was he following me?

  I parked in front of my building and locked my doors, but didn’t exit. I wanted to be sure that Drew didn’t turn around. I noticed a neighbor park a few spots over and jumped out. I called a greeting and forced small talk as I entered the building with her.

  Once I was locked in my apartment, I dialed Hunter, in need of advice. After explaining what had happened during Drew’s initial visit and today, I waited for his guidance.

  “Are you ok? Do you need me to come over?” Hunter voice was full of concern.

  “No, I’m fine. I have Krav Maga in a little while and I need to study.”

  “Ev, you are a magnet for dubious characters. It’s becoming a full time job worrying about you,” he sighed, kidding, I hoped. “Give me his full name and I will call one of the officers I know at Suffolk P.D. to check him out. Maybe he can even have a talk with him.”

  “I am sorry to heap more problems on your shoulders, but I didn’t know who else to call.”

  “Are you kidding? I would have been furious if I found out about this and you hadn’t told me directly. Drew’s behavior is extremely disconcerting, I would worry even without the murder. I wish you would have confided about his initial visit sooner, but I understand why you dismissed it. No more benefit of the doubt…for anyone.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “I’ll call the cop now and update you later if I hear anything. Be careful.”

  I felt better after enlisting Hunter’s help. I was grateful for his police connection courtesy of the safety seminar. I don’t know what I would do when I no longer had Hunter to turn to.

  Krav class proved unintentionally arousing once again. Josh and I continued to partner as we worked on ground holds and breaks. When we began working on a technique to break a mount the situation got sticky. I was laying on the ground on my back and Josh was straddling me with a knee on each side of my hips, a mount position. I had to pull my legs up and hook my knees over his shoulders, using my momentum to reverse our positions. It took several attempts before I gained enough speed and fluidity to pin Josh to the ground successfully. The reversal left me straddling Josh’s shoulders with a knee on each side of his head; needless to say, my crotch was in his face. Josh tried to maintain focus, but we were both struggling not to laugh or rip each other’s clothes off after the third time I completed the move. When we reversed positions, providing Josh a chance to break my mount, the tension only escalated. I believe Josh tried, honestly I do, but he failed to squelch the stirring that occurred when he ultimately straddled my face. He blushed and quickly rose, stating he felt he had mastered the move and we didn’t need to practice further. Was the universe trying to communicate a divine plan to me? My face had been in Josh’s crotch in public more times than some of my ex-boyfriend’s in private. It was getting ridiculous, but there were no female partners available and I felt more comfortable with Josh than any of the other guys in the class.

  After class he invited me for coffee, but I declined. The day had taken its toll and I needed to rest. Josh was understanding and confirmed our date for Saturday, and we agreed to a casual dinner at a local Spanish restaurant. I was grateful he didn’t offer to pick me up this time. I trusted Josh, but I had promised Hunter I would exercise caution. Josh walked me to my car and placed a kiss on my lips before saying goodbye.

  As the week went by, Hunter was markedly absent. I saw him at class, but he missed our weekly clan lunches and didn’t linger to chat with me on Tuesday after class. I was feeling pushed aside and began to fear he was distancing himself from me to prepare me for his imminent departure. After class on Thursday, I broached the topic as we exited the building.

  “Are you okay? You seem off this week.”

  “Yeah, I’m just rundown and have a lot going on with work. I feel like I’m being pulled in different directions and beginning to tear.”

  I recalled hearing that Higosha Dojo was opening three new schools between Suffolk and Nassau Counties, so I took a wild guess.

  “Are you having problems with the new dojos?”

  He looked surprised by my insight. “We are actually. We have run into complications with the town permits for one of the renovations, and there are staffing issues at another. The third school is progressing smoothly, but it’s always stressful opening a new facility, even when everything goes as planned. I can’t fathom what my father was thinking when he decided to open three schools at once.”

  “So you’re not avoiding me? Intentionally pushing me away?” I blatantly stated my fears.

  Hunter stopped dead in his tracks, grabbing my hand to halt my progress.

  “Is that what you think?”

  I nodded timidly.

  “Hell no, that’s not it at all. It’s all work related. There have been tons of meetings I’ve had to attend and problems to solve. I would have preferred to be with you if I could have. Don’t you know that by now?”

  “I’m not normally the insecure girl, full of self-doubt. You have me twisted into knots trying to figure out what you’re thinking. I find myself analyzing the motivations behind your every action. I have no idea what you’re feeling, what you want,” I vented.

  “Everleigh, I’ve told you where I’m in my life right now. There is no mystery to solve, no reason to second guess yourself or me.” He used his hold on my hand to pull me closer. “You’re my best friend. I adore spending time with you and I wish I had more time to give you. If I seem distant, it has nothing to do with us. Nothing has changed.”

  He was trying to comfort me, but his assur
ances were a rock in my stomach. I wanted his feelings to change; I wanted him to love me, to want to be with me.

  I plastered what I hoped was a convincing smile on my face. “Sorry, you’re right. I’m just a little more emotional than usual with all the stress around here. The fear is oppressive; I must be developing paranoid tendencies.”

  “Until they catch the guy, keep the paranoia. It’s probably safer even if it makes you a little crazy,” he teased as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head. “I have to head to work, again, but why don’t we make plans for Saturday night? We can catch up.”

  I was excited to have some additional time with Hunter and was about to give an enthusiastic yes, when I remembered I had a date with Josh. This was going to take some finesse.

  “I would love to, but I have plans Saturday night. How about tomorrow?”

  “I can’t tomorrow, I have a commitment. What are you doing Saturday?”

  “Nothing major. What are you doing Friday?” I countered vaguely.

  “I don’t want to bore you with the details,” he responded equally vague.

  We were at an impasse. I couldn’t ask him if he had a date on Friday—I was masochistically dying to know—because he would ask me the same in return. This Pandora was not opening that box. Likewise, Hunter couldn’t grill me about my plans if he was unwilling to share his own. We were gridlocked. We walked in quiet contemplation for several minutes before Hunter broke the silence.

  “How about the following Saturday? Are you free then?”

  “In fact I am. What did you have in mind?”

  “Dinner, just you and me. It will give us some quality time to catch up and unwind. What do you say?”

  “Perfect, sounds great.”

  I was excited to have him all to myself for more than a half hour here and there. I pushed aside the spiteful voice in my mind who insisted on pointing out that this was an un-date with my un-boyfriend. I should kick Robbie for that vicious sniglet.

  “Want sushi? We’ll figure out the time next week once your schedule is set.”

  “Definitely sushi, as if you need to ask.”

  “Excellent,” he sounded genuinely eager. “I’ll attempt to swing by Higher Yearning tomorrow if I can squeeze it in. Otherwise, I’ll see you on Monday.”

  “Sounds good. Talk to you soon.”

  He gave me a hug and kiss on the forehead before leaving.

  All I could think as I walked to my car was that I would have to consult Sam on what one wears on an un-date. I sure as hell didn’t know.

  Saturday night I drove to Café Salamanca to meet Josh. It was located a few towns over, but I didn’t mind the drive when the tapas were widely regarded as the best on Long Island. Once again, Josh was waiting in anticipation of my arrival. He greeted me with a kiss in the parking lot and led me to the restaurant.

  The atmosphere was casual and we were both in jeans. I had to give credit where credit was due; Josh in jeans was yummy! We decided to order an assortment of tapas to share, which was perfect for my curious palate. We ordered entirely too much food for the two of us, but I loved to try new foods and Josh’s adventurous spirit was a fitting match for mine. We gorged ourselves with an assortment of tastiness. The meal was delicious and the conversation pleasant. We lingered over coffee, trading stories and anecdotes about ourselves. It was nice to feel desired by an attractive, intelligent man. Josh walked me to my car after dinner, once again opening my door and kissing me goodnight. As I drove out of the parking lot I saw Josh wave to me with a contented smile.

  I was halfway home when struck by exhaustion. Working all day, followed by the gluttony of our dinner was taking its toll. Lost in a fantasy about crawling into bed and sleeping for a week straight, I nearly missed the check engine light illuminated on my dashboard. That little glowing icon was never a good sign. I was still twenty minutes from home, and driving through a winding tree lined section of road where there was little populous. I decided to press on, in hopes of making it home before the problem worsened. My radio abruptly turned off of its own accord moments before my headlights dimmed. I knew these were definitely bad news. I tried to remember my many visits to the mechanic over my five years of driving Papa Smurf to deduce the problem. I suspected my alternator might be the culprit based on a similar experience years prior. I prayed I could make it home without compounding the damage to my car. My optimism proved false when Papa shuddered and became sluggish. I carefully guided the car to the narrow shoulder of the two-lane road. It was midnight and I was stranded fifteen miles from home, alone, in the dark. If it were not for bad luck, I’d have no luck.

  I tried to call Sam’s phone but it went straight to voicemail. It was Saturday night. Sam and Robbie were on a date, which meant by this time Sam would be indisposed, followed by sleep. She would not be saving me. I dialed Hunter’s cell, fingers crossed I would be able to reach him.

  “Hello?” a sleepy voice greeted me.

  “Hunter, it’s Ev. What are you doing right now?”

  “It’s midnight, I was sleeping. Wait, is something wrong? Are you hurt?”

  “I’m fine, but I have a problem and I was hoping you could help me out. You know, don the shining armor and mount your trusty white steed,” I joked.

  I could hear him dressing through the phone. Didn’t that paint a delicious visual for me to cling to in my time of desperation?

  “What’s up?”

  “Papa Smurf died,” I replied sadly.

  “You’re watching cartoons? What are you talking about? Have you been drinking?”

  “No you dolt, Papa Smurf is my car and he died. I think it’s the alternator; I’m stuck on the side of the road.”

  “You call your car Papa Smurf? No wonder he died on you.”

  “Hey don’t judge, he loves his moniker. Can we refocus on the issue at hand? I’m stuck on the side of the road several miles from civilization. Are you going to rescue me, or do I need to call one of my other superhero buddies?”

  “Why am I stuck being a knight, when your other friends get to be superheroes? That doesn’t seem fair. I want cool powers.” He was teasing to distract me, and I loved him for it.

  “Your magnificence supersedes all super powers. They would be superfluous next to your immense abilities.”

  “In that case, tell me where you are, and I will come and save the stranded maiden.”

  I gave him the best description of my location as possible under the circumstances, and he was confident he could find me.

  “I’m going to hang up so I can call a tow truck for you. Hang tight and I should be there in fifteen minutes.”

  I heard his engine roar to life, confirming help was on the way. I sat in my car, trying to stay warm. April on Long Island was comfortable during the day, but nights still dropped to 40oF. I sang songs to myself to keep my mind occupied, not wanting to let fear seep in. Fifteen minutes could be a lifetime if the music from the movie “Psycho” was playing in your head.

  Ten minutes later headlights approached me. I strained to see if it was Hunter’s Yukon, but all large SUVs looked the same to me, especially in the dark. When the car slowed and made a U-turn behind me, I knew it was Hunter.

  I climbed out as he did the same. He held his arms open to me and I walked into them gratefully.

  “My hero,” I teased, partially serious.

  I was appreciative for his aide, especially when it required he drag himself out of bed in the middle of the night. He still appeared sleep deprived most days, making his sacrifice that much more significant. I huddled in the warmth of his arms, snaking my hands under his jacket and shirt to steal his body heat.

  He jumped when my frigid hands connected with the warm bare skin of his back. I was only seeking to thaw my paws, but once my hands met his smooth skin, my intentions were diverted. I drew small circles with my pointer finger, my hands drifting to his lower back. He shivered, whether from the cold or my touch I wasn’t certain. I dipped
the fingertips of one hand under the waistband of his jeans, while I dragged my other hand up his spine and settled it between his shoulder blades. His grip on me tightened and I heard the raggedness of his breathing. I savored the sensation of his bare skin against mine and the familiarity of the moment. I could feel his body’s response to me growing, causing my breathing to shallow.

  His left hand slowly descended, stopping on the lowest part of my back. His right hand tangled in my hair as he cupped the back of my head. He gently tugged, causing my head to tilt back until we were gazing in each other’s eyes. The yearning was palpable between us; I didn’t dare breathe and risk breaking the thrall. His lips lowered as I rose on my toes, straining to meet him.

  When the tow truck’s headlights hit us, Hunter sighed, retreating from our embrace.

  “Why don’t you warm up in the car? I’ll tell the driver what the problem is and where to tow the car.”

  I nodded, which was all I could manage at the moment. My synapses were enflamed with the enticement that had gone unfulfilled. If Hunter had waited two more minutes before calling, we would not have been disrupted at such an inopportune time. He would have kissed me—possessed me—at last. I climbed into the balmy truck, thwarted and discontent. I focused on slowing my breathing, trying to release the tension from my body. Could a person die from gratification deprivation? It certainly felt like it was a possibility.

  Hunter had been as enthralled as I was, closer than ever to capitulating and indulging my inaudible pleas to satiate our desire.

  Overcome by my exasperation, I beat the dashboard with clenched fists, needing to vent my disappointment. Hunter chose that moment to open the car door. He raised one eyebrow and chuckled.

  “Please don’t take your anger at Papa Smurf out on my baby.” He had retreated to our familiar banter to displace the previous heat. “Are you worried about the cost to get him fixed?”