Only For You Page 12

  “Uh-oh, I know that smile. I have seen it on women’s faces before.” Griffin broke through my scheming.

  “And what smile would that be?” I questioned innocently.

  “It’s the smile that foreshadows a man’s demise. What are you planning, lady?”

  “No demise, my plans will be enjoyed by all. No need to fret. I will tell you…none of them are particularly lady-like.”

  Griffin groaned, “I’ve created a monster!”

  “Don’t worry about Hunter. If he doesn’t want my advances he is perfectly capable of protecting himself.”

  “So you’re going to try and persuade him to make his move, finally?”

  “Not the way you mean. I’m going to seduce him without pursuing a romantic attachment.”

  “I never said he only wanted a sexual liaison. I said he wanted you to be his. If you want the same, you should talk to him.”

  “Even if he did want a serious relationship with me, he doesn’t want to want it. I have no idea why and it doesn’t really matter, I’m not going to be able to change his mind. Only he can do that, and if it hasn’t happened by now, it’s not going to.”

  “Not everything in life is so cut and dry, Ev. You should talk to him. Just tell him what you want, what you’re willing to accept, and let him do the same. You could be sacrificing the possibility for something amazing and permanent for something pleasurable but temporary.”

  “You know, Griff, you’re one smart cookie. Did you learn this wisdom in bartending school or the school of hard knocks?”

  Griffin laughed at my quip. “A little while bartending, a lot of hard knocks, and a whole lot at Hensley.”

  “Hensley?”

  “I’m a finishing up my Ph.D. in Clinical Psych. The main area of focus for my dissertation is human behavioral choices and the thought processes that determine them. For example, two people can experience the exact same event, such as a plane crash. They can both walk away unharmed with no losses, but how each processes and reacts to the experience shapes their future thought processes, behaviors, and choices.”

  “My, my—aren’t you the closet geek? I never would have known.”

  “Don’t blow my cover. It’s taken a long time to cultivate my bartender mystique.”

  “I like you Griffin, you’re a good man. Thanks for listening and for the advice. I will talk to Hunter.” I squeezed his hand to emphasize my appreciation. “If there is ever anything I can do for you, just let me know.”

  “Actually, to prevent my own hypocrisy, I have to ask—is Sam still dating that guy?”

  “Yeah she is, sorry. It’s serious too, I wouldn’t hold your breath for her.”

  It may not be what he wanted to hear, but he would appreciate my directness.

  He nodded. “Then I’ll ask a favor of you—if the situation ever changes, give me a heads up. You know where to find me.”

  “I promise I will.”

  “Okay, you’re officially cleared to drive now.”

  “You’re confident I’m sober?” I laughed.

  “You were always sober; you had less than half of your drink before the spill. You needed to talk, which meant I needed to detain you and provide the opportunity.”

  “Sneaky, sneaky man.”

  Griffin grinned and walked me out to my car before giving me a brief hug.

  “Goodnight, Ev, and good luck.”

  I drove home, my feelings assuaged by the many revelations of the evening. I had a clear mission for which I needed to develop my strategy. Operation ‘Bring Hunter to his knees’ was green lighted. This was going to be fun.

  Chapter Ten

  * * *

  "Most virtue is a demand for greater seduction.” -Natalie Clifford Barney

  The following day, I brought Sam up to speed on all that had transpired the night before, only editing my promise to Griffin regarding Sam. I didn’t want Sam to feel uncomfortable when we went to The Stop, knowing Griff was pining for her. Sam didn’t seem as shocked by Hunter’s actions and my revelation as I anticipated. When I finished, I looked at her expectantly.

  “I was afraid this would happen,” Sam began.

  “What does that mean?”

  “Ev, for someone who is incredibly perceptive, you have a major blind spot when it comes to Hunter.”

  I wanted to argue, but she was right. I was sightless when it came to Hunter. My desperation to keep him necessitated impaired vision. I couldn’t imagine my life without him; hence, I rejected any proof that would force me to acknowledge the possibility of romantic entanglement. I could accept his refusal when there was a cause that had nothing to do with me.

  “How long have you known?” I asked Sam.

  “Known what? I knew you wanted him from the first day, after your Business Strategies class. When you told me about your verbal sparring I saw he captured your attention, otherwise you would have rebuffed him without another thought.”

  “When did you know he was straight?”

  “The first time you told me he was gay; I had yet to meet him outside of the confines of the self-defense seminar. You had more interaction with him in an informal setting, so I trusted your judgment. But after our first lunch, I had my suspicions. He watched you too attentively to be platonic. I considered saying something then, but your banter was captivating, a well-choreographed dance. You each had a unique understanding of the other and how far you could push. You hadn’t even known each other a week and you already had your own inside jokes. You were unguarded with him, at ease and open. I considered telling you, but I didn’t want the distraction of lust to interfere. Then he pulled the cold-shoulder routine, and I doubted myself. I was afraid he was playing games, liking the chase, so I dropped it.”

  I nodded my understanding. “But after the dancing, I had no doubt. I wasn’t overstating when I described your chemistry as scorching. You were so in tune to each other, completely oblivious to the world around you. I saw you almost kiss and he wanted it as much as you did. I don’t know what caused him to break away, but I have no doubts he wanted it too. I debated the virtues of telling you a hundred times, but you had grown so close, I didn’t want to take that away from you. You were content, the happiest I’ve ever seen you, wrapped in ignorance.”

  “I came to the same conclusion last night. The only way to keep Hunter indefinitely was for me to remain unaware. That’s no longer a possibility, our friendship has an expiration date. There’s no way for me to repress my desire for more, which will worsen the more we are together. Friendship can’t exist when one party wants more. My discontent will poison the relationship with bitterness, or I will force space because of the ache of denial.”

  I could already feel the fissures beginning in my heart. “How am I supposed to survive losing one of my best friends? I wish you had a super power to wipe my memory of last night. If I had never taken that stupid Krav Maga class none of this would have happened,” I complained.

  “It would have happened eventually. If not Josh, it would have been another guy. I do think Hunter’s jealously is telling. Are you sure there is no chance?”

  “It’s been over two months. We see each other every day. Apparently, I have been broadcasting ready, willing, and able signals to anyone within a fifty-mile radius. If he were interested, he would have taken the initiative. Whatever his reasons, he has resolved not to pursue more than friendship. I’m not going to beg.”

  “I still think you should talk to him and make sure there’s no chance.”

  “I will, I promised Griffin the same.”

  “Shall I assume you are planning on tasting the forbidden fruit before the vine shrivels and dies?” Sam smirked, reaching the same conclusion I had last night.

  “You know me too well.”

  “I sense a trip to the salon for a Brazilian in your future,” Sam laughed.

  Actually, it wasn’t a terrible idea. Sam had been singing the praises of a Brazilian wax for years, claiming men were driven wild by the results.
I held firm in my ability to groom my nether region on my own. However, Hunter was exceptional, I had no doubt it would be the hottest sexy time I ever had. He may just warrant extra special efforts.

  “Can I get the name of the salon?”

  “I bet Hunter is an ace in the sack.”

  “If I had any doubts, which I didn’t, after dancing with him they would have been laid to rest. His hip action was unparalleled. Plus, he already admitted he was packing heavy artillery,” finally sharing that juicy tidbit.

  “Then there is only one thing for you to do.”

  “And that would be?”

  “Ride ‘em cowgirl!”

  As I arrived home from work Friday night, I noticed a figure lingering in the shadows near the entrance to my building. I strained to identify the silhouette, but it was indistinguishable from a distance. I was certain it was a man based on his size. Each building housed four apartments, so he could be visiting another tenant.

  As I approached, I felt my heart rate accelerate and my breathing coming more rapidly. I surveyed my surroundings, but no one was around this time of night. Shit! I had no easily accessible tools to defend myself, and I was too close to run for safety successfully. I considered screaming to attract attention, but shelved the intent not wanting an audience when it was proven I was once again being paranoid.

  I strode to the door exuding a confidence I didn’t feel, hoping my concern was unfounded. I was mere feet from the door when a body stepped in front of me, blocking my path. I drew a deep breath, prepared to scream for my life.

  “Hello, Ev. It’s good to see you.”

  I was startled and the scream died in my throat. “Drew? Is that you?”

  I stepped back and took stock. Yes, it was Drew. I was moderately relieved, but unwilling to relinquish my caution fully.

  “What are you doing loitering outside my building at eleven?”

  He smiled bashfully, “Sorry if I scared you. You’ve been on my mind lately, and when I was driving by, my car just pulled in of its own accord.”

  “Oh, it’s nice to see you, of course, you just surprised me.” I remained out of arms reach, just in case. Drew and I had dated for nine months, and he always treated me well. We ended amicably and still saw each other socially on occasion. I had no justifiable reason to doubt his intentions, but Hunter’s cautions could not be ignored.

  “I knocked on your door, but no one answered. I knew you would be home soon if coming from work, so I decided to hang out for a bit to see if I could catch you,” he explained reasonably.

  “It’s great to see you. I have been meaning to call so we could grab coffee and catch up. How have you been?”

  It was awkward having this conversation outside in the cold, but I didn’t feel comfortable inviting him in knowing Sam was on a date with Robbie.

  “Good, good. I’ve wanted to talk to you for a while now, do you mind if I come in?”

  “Now’s not a great time, Sam is inside with her new boyfriend, she probably wouldn’t appreciate my bringing a guest if she didn’t answer the door when you knocked.”

  “Ah, I understand. This wasn’t how I envisioned our conversation, but…I miss you Ev, I want you back. I have always thought of you as the one that got away,” Drew said intensely.

  At any other time in my life his last statement would have been romantic, but the attacks at Hensley cast a sinister filter on his words. My skin crawled with unease.

  “Drew, I’m flattered, really, but we gave it our best shot and it didn’t work out. I am glad to still call you my friend, but I can’t see us ever being more.”

  Drew pulled his fingers through his hair in frustration. “Don’t you remember how happy we were together, how much fun we had? I know I was wrong to let you go, you slipped through my fingers while I was distracted by school and life. It was a mistake. I know we were meant to be together, Ev. You have to feel it, too.”

  “I’m sorry, but I don’t. Yes, we had fun, our relationship was good while it lasted, but we wouldn’t have both been so easily distracted if we were meant for one another. Please, don’t ruin the memory of what we shared now. I’m not the right woman for you.”

  “But you are, I can’t stop thinking about you. Every woman I have been with since pales in comparison. I even imagine it’s you when I’m inside of someone else.”

  Warning lights were flashing—danger! Not only way too much information, but it was also creepy beyond measure. I needed to get inside and away from him with all haste.

  “Drew, I’m seeing someone. I’m not available, I can’t be with you,” I stated resolutely.

  “You are? Who is he? Is it serious?” He was visibly unsettled by the news.

  “I am and it is. I’m sorry, but we aren’t going to happen. Please try to accept it and I wish you the best. I need to head in now, I’m freezing. Goodnight.”

  I reached for the door and looked back over my shoulder, “And goodbye.”

  He didn’t move as I entered the building and ran to my apartment, quickly entering and locking the door. Once safely inside I texted Sam to make sure Robbie would escort her to the door in case Drew remained outside. What once would have been a fairly common, albeit uncomfortable, conversation with an ex, now felt ominous. I was shaken by the exchange, unsure if I was overreacting. I checked the door again and verified all the windows were locked before going to bed. It took a long time for me to relax enough to fall asleep, and when I did, my dreams were dark and foreboding.

  Still unsettled after my run-in with Drew, I reconsidered my date with Josh. Dating suddenly felt like a very risky endeavor. I eventually decided to proceed as planned; Josh was a nice guy and we would be in public the entire time. If I gave him the opportunity, and toned down my newly acquired suspicious nature, maybe it would turn into something, although it was unlikely given my desire for Hunter. If nothing else, the date would keep the flames of Hunter’s jealousy stoked, which would make my seduction far easier. Turning anger to passion was far easier than turning amity to desire. I would subtly lay the groundwork this week, and then lure Hunter into my carnal web with sultry dancing next Saturday. If the plan was a success, I would be a thoroughly satisfied woman the following morning.

  Despite my carnal plans for Hunter, I was committed to giving Josh a chance on our date. I knew Hunter and I had no future by his design. Why not open myself up to alternative opportunities? I resolved to keep things casual with Josh for as long as I was pursuing relations with Hunter. I didn’t want to mislead anyone. I was already walking the tightrope of respectability dating Josh while intending to screw Hunter; I wasn’t going to take the plunge into Tramp Town. I could proceed with a clear conscience as long as I didn’t make any commitments. I wasn’t concerned for Hunter, he knew about Josh and was not interested in commitments.

  With my parameters in place, I prepared for my date. Chez Madeline was one of the nicest restaurants in the area, giving me an opportunity to dress with more elegance than usual. I selected a sleeveless aubergine bandage dress with a pair of strappy silver stilettos. I added a smoky gray pashmina for warmth before heading out with my keys in hand.

  I was thankful that Chez Madeline offered self-parking in addition to valet, as I didn’t relish the idea of having to drive my old Honda to a valet stand. It was shallow, I know, but Papa Smurf would stick out like a sore thumb among the Mercedes and BMWs.

  Josh waited for me just inside the restaurant, stepping out to take my arm as I approached. He wore a beautiful black Armani suit paired with a slate gray shirt and eggplant silk tie. I realized our outfits complimented each other and was senselessly pleased. Josh assisted with my coat before handing it to the coat check. He slid the claim tag into his inner suit pocket, the gesture of care not lost on me.

  “Good evening, Ev. You look stunning.” He took a minute to appraise me approvingly, “And I thought you looked good in your Krav uniform.”

  “You look rather dapper tonight yourself.”

  “Di
d you want me to hold on to your valet ticket?”

  “No thank you. I don’t have one.”

  He gave me a questioning look.

  “I was afraid the valet would be tempted to steal my car. I prevented a crime by parking myself.”

  Josh surmised reasoning and laughed. “I drove a ’93 Chevy Caprice in college. It can’t be that bad.”

  “No, not quite that bad. It’s an old Accord, but at least the model is still in production,” which earned a chuckle from Josh.

  “Shall we?” He extended his arm to me again.

  “We shall.”

  When the server arrived, we both requested a glass of Sauvignon Blanc to accompany dinner. Josh ordered the Grande Tasting for two, for which Madeline's was famous. He declined the wine pairing as we were both driving. The meal was opulent: Pine Island Oysters on the half-shell, braised sea bream, arctic char, seared foie gras, duck leg confit, roasted lamb, artisan cheese board, and a trio of sorbets. For dessert, we were served a ginger almond tarte, the house specialty.

  The company rivaled the meal. Josh and I discussed our lives, family, friends—excluding Hunter— and plans for the future. The conversation flowed naturally and was entertaining. Josh was an exemplary date. By the time we finished our dessert and coffee, I was stuffed. I quickly regretted my body hugging dress, which would be far less complimentary after my overindulgence.

  Josh claimed my coat and assisted me into it before escorting me to my car. I thanked him for a lovely dinner and great company. Seizing the opportunity, he invited me out the following Saturday. I had to decline as I had plans, part of my Hunter seduction scheme. I felt a moment’s guilt before remembering I was only dating Josh casually, no promises made. He requested a date the following Saturday, and I happily consented. Josh gently cupped my cheek with his warm hand and leaned in, placing a gentle kiss on my lips. It was too chilly to linger outside, so he took the keys from my hand, unlocked and opened my door. After assisting me, Josh closed my door gallantly and waved goodbye.